HOCKEY IN HIGH HEELS: GOALS AND DEFENSE
Last week, we waved goodbye to football season. This week, we will start talking about hockey. Although we have been into this season for quite awhile, we have yet to cover much of it on the site. Today that all changes. We will be doing the terms of the sport as we have done with football in the past and then cover it on Football in High Heels Presents. Let’s get started!
As always, I will have what each term means and what I thought it meant, then go into how I understand it.
Goalie: What It Means: This is perhaps the toughest position in all of sports. The goalie is the one player who controls a team’s confidence. His job is to keep the puck out of the net, potentially taking his team a long way…and possibly winning championships.
What I Thought It Meant: This one I actually knew, thanks to playing field hockey in gym class. However, in my mind, I picture a counselor of some sort helping the team reach goals.
Defensemen: What It Means: Teams usually have two—one on the left side and another on the right. However, there are three primary kinds of defensemen. One is creative and offensive-minded. His job is to handle the puck and lead the team up ice without being too physical. There is also one who is defensive-minded. His job is to play a physical game and rarely venture out of his zone with the puck. The third is a combination of the two.
What I Thought It Meant: Security. Although, once I read the descriptions, all I could think of
was a creative team leader (Carson Kressley on this season of Celebrity Apprentice), a tough defender (Steve from Jerry Springer) and Sonny Corinthos….no idea why.
These guys are here to defend the NHL!
Right wing: What It Means: He works the right side of the ice and needs to be a physical player. He is good along the boards and in the corner and is responsible for the opposition’s left defenseman in the defensive zone.
What I Thought It Meant: The resident Republican on the team. Now I picture President Trump trying to play hockey. I think their job is to make sure the right side is safe, which makes me think of the Power Rangers defending their side.
Left wing: What It Means: This is traditionally a left-handed shot. However, the NHL is seeing more right-handers playing this position because a right-hander has a better angle to shoot from when he’s coming in on his wing. Like the right wing, he also needs to be able to dig out the puck from the corners and battle in front of the net.
What I Thought It Meant: The Democrat of the team. I am picturing the Power Rangers as well, but since I used them already, we will go with VR Troopers.
Center: He is the one who quarterbacks his club at both ends of the ice. He must be good at face-offs and passing, and it doesn’t hurt if he’s a good shot as well. Coaches want a lot of creativity — and hockey smarts for this position.
What I Thought It Meant: Some dude standing in the center of the ice. Now I am picturing the love child of Wayne Gretzky and Joey Gladstone. In my mind, it is equivalent to the quarterback in football, so basically the Tom Brady of hockey?
The center of the NHL, FIHH style!
More lessons coming soon!
